You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
