apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
