love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
