you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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