We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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