Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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