Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
