Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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