she was so not down for the gang bang
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
