He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Four minutes until I can fart!
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
