next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
