just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
