and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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