All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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