my mouth tastes like poor choices
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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