i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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