I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
