Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize