Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
