is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
