It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
