She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
