Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
