Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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