He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
