So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I'm eating all of the evidence.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
