She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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