He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
