This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
