Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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