Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
