Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
They have beer where we have blood.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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