so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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