...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Boobs are out for the taking
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
