Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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