So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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