i don't like sucking hair
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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