Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
it glows. i had to have it.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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