the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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