i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Naked. naked and bneed help.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
