i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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