It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
