Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
