Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
this hospital has no fireball
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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