ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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