No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
