Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
