he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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