doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
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