6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i was born a porn star she said
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
