I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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