question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
